Here’s my best advice on how to find a partner. It boils down to pursuing your interests and getting out of your comfort zone.
You will not meet the love of your life if you stay at home. You may stumble upon them if you hang around with your friends sometimes and “do stuff.”
You have an excellent chance of meeting the LOYL( Love of your Life) if you work it. Yeah yeah..
At this juncture,the paramount question on the mind of a LRB reader then becomes; HOW DOES ONE WORK IT?
To work it; follow these strategic planning guidelines and you’ll be amazed at how many new people come into your life.
STRATEGIC PLANNING GUIDELINES.
1. Commit to take action.
You’re going to do this like it’s your job. If you do it right, you’ll get a very high Return on Investment(ROI) and can retire from dating.
2. Map out a strategy.
It’s time for new adventures. Think carefully about your interests, and which ones offer the best demographics for interacting with the opposite sex.
3. Take bold risks.
May eye contact, smile and start conversations. Tell her you think she’s cute. Write your phone number on a napkin and hand it over “hmmm” Ask for his phone and add your name and number to his contacts.
Meeting people is a number one game. Tell everyone you know that you are open to meeting someone. At least some of the time, venture out alone. You won’t meet anyone new if you’re showing up with an entourage.
5. Embrace rejection.
If you’re never getting rejected, you’re not risking enough.
Without further delay, here are the best places to meet someone new and potentially worthy, organized by interest!
The interests are categorized into eleven (XI) interests. As you embark on the journey via reading to discover same, they interests in itself is explanatory, as revealed below!
I. BECOME A RUNNER, AND TRAIN WITH A GROUP THAT DEPART IN THE MORNING, AFTER WORK AND ON WEEKENDS.
They offer different levels of challenge. If you’re a guy, start out slow to meet more women. If you’re female, work hard to get into an intermediate level group, at least.
Often times, groups will enter races together, train for marathons, etc.
2. JOIN A SPORT CLUB.
League football, volleyball and soccer are often more relaxed, with good opportunities for socializing.
3. GO FOR A WALK.
This may sound ridiculous, but I frequently walk the same route, and every time I share hellos with both strangers and other “regular” walkers. Yeahh..
4.PLAY DOUBLE TENNiS IN A LEAGUE.
5. JOIN A BOOk CLUB , OR START ONE.
Ask three single friends to join you, inviting each one to bring a platonic friend of the opposite sex. Four women, four men is a good size to start. “Oh yea..”
6.JOIN A PHOTOGRAPHERS GROUP.
Photographers often have groups, and go out together to photograph a specific place.
I once saw one such group of people in their 20s all shooting, and they planned to share their work the following weekend.
7. GO TO OPENINGS.
Go to Films, galleries, museum shows. Approach the attractive person,Don’t worry about not being knowledgeable. Most people there aren’t experts, they’re more interested in the interaction, same as you .
8. TAKE AN ACTING CLASS.
I did a lot of this, and watched with amusement as major dramas unfolded among the students. This is also a really good way to get over .
If you have a good voice, sing in a chorus, a choir, or at open mic night.
10. GO TO A POETRY SLAM .
11.GO TO SMALL LOCAL CONCERTS. Battles of the Bands are good. Comedy shows.
12. ATTEND AS MANY CONFERENCES AND PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT SEMINARS AS YOU CAN.
Don’t hang with your coworkers all the time, mix up.
13. GET SOME TRAINING ON IT, WEB DESIGN OR SOCIAL MEDIA.
If it is at all relevant to your work, get some training in IT, web design or social media. There are lots of smart guys in these fields.
14. CONSIDER INTERRACTION WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX VIA PART – TIME WORK.
If you work somewhere that is mostly same sex, consider a part-time gig in the public eye, even teaching an adult class are all good ways to interact with opposite single sex.
15. NETWORK AT WORK .
Chat up everyone you can at work in an open and friendly manner. Yes, you might meet someone special.
Don’t discount the middle-aged female executive whose hot daughter may come in for lunch one day; Or the middle manager who might ask you to take over the intern hiring process.
Form relationships and build trust. You will find that doors open when you do so. Cool right? Yeah I guess..
IV. FOOD AND WINE.
16. GO TO A WINE TASTING.
You can learn a lot, it’s good stuff to know, and they tend to be quite an avenue for socializing
17. A WORD ABOUT BARS.
Bars definitely deserve a place in the rotation. I know several happy couples who met in a bar.
However, they are also at high risk. Most men aren’t in them to select a baby mama.
If you want to meet a guy, your odds are best by far in a sports bar. It helps if you understand the sport being viewed, and can express genuine interest. Yup..
18. GO TO POPULAR RESTAURANTS.
Go to popular restaurants where the opposite sex likes to eat.
19. GET TOGETHER PARTY.
Plan and Invite a bunch of friends to bring a dish and a platonic friend.
20.BECOME A REGULAR.
Casual places work best for this. A pub, diner, or cafe with WI-FI are all good choices.
When everybody knows your name, they’ll start introducing you and networking on your behalf. Or you may encounter an attractive regular fellow.
21. WALKING A DOG AT A REGULAR TIME.
Walking a dog at a regular time each day is also good. No matter where you live, there is probably someone single and attractive within easy, walking distance who also takes their dog out after work. If you can get your dog to pop up when theirs does, you have your opening. “Ajebo areas”**wink wink**
22. VOLUNTEER FOR AN ENVIRONMENTAL ORGANIZATION.
Volunteer for an environmental organization, and be smart about the tasks you undertake.
Instead of agreeing to write letters to petition a lawmaker, go on a Saturday morning beach cleanup.
23. VOLUNTEER FOR A POLITICAL CAUSE.
Instead of agreeing to make phone calls from home or go house to house leaving flyers, sign up for activities done in groups.
Phone-a-thons are good, as is stuffing envelopes. If you have the skills to be part of a planning committee, which is much better!
24. CHECK AND CREATE OPPORTUNITIES FOR VOLUNTEERS.
Check online for organizations that can match volunteers to opportunities.
25.ATTEND BLOCK PARTIES.
26. ATTEND PARADE AND CARNIVALS.
Go to a parade or a carnival and stand near someone attractive (and single). There’s usually a very friendly and casual vibe…( “Atmospheric vibes, Very key in finding love!”.)
Go to your local Market or shopping mall Every week. Become a regular.
VIII. RUNNING ERRANDS.
28.INITIATE TALKS/ CONVERSATIONS.
Talk to strangers while waiting in line. This is good to do anywhere, but most especially at movies, restaurants and clubs.
29. GO TO THE GORCERY.
Go food shopping where fellow singles go.
30.NETWORK VIA CHATTING.
Network by chatting everyone up. I know one married couple who met when a woman cashier at a market waited on a guy, and he thought she’d be perfect for a friend of his. He didn’t say anything, but brought the friend round to check her out. He liked her and his friend made the awkward introductions. It worked.
31. I LOVE THE LIBRARY.
Go there about once a week, and even in the middle of a weekday. There are always young people hanging around and working on their laptops. Position yourself strategically near an attractive person and get to work; Or play.
IX. ORGANIZED DATING.
32.Online dating is not always worth your time, but it deserves a place in your strategy. But give it a shot.
33. SPEED DATE.
People report that speed dating is great fun.
34.EYE GAZE PARTY.
Apparently, a lot of dates are getting made at eye-gazing parties.
35. ATTEND LECTURES.
Attend lectures on topics that interest you. Stick around for the Q&A.
Go to seminars that teach skills that interest young people. Investments and real estate are two popular topics.
37. ALUMNAE NETWORKS.
Get involved with your alumnae networks. Attend functions and meet people from your alma mater who you didn’t know while you were there.
Walking tours are fun and inexpensive, often ending with a shared meal at a restaurant. They’re offered in most cities.
39. HOOK – UPS
Hook up travelers with guests. This a be a great way to meet people.
40.MISSIONARY WORK TRAVELS.
Traveling on a mission work in a religious organization and in the church is sure a good way of meeting good people.
Finally,most singles rely too heavily on going to bars and online dating. You need to diversify your portfolio!
I’ve given you 40 ideas which I know by heart. Choose four, and introduce each one per week for the next month.
Stick to your plan, observing the five strategic planning guidelines/rules, to ensure your success.
Don’t leave your love life to chance! Take action, and exert control. Action always feels better than inertia, so go ahead and shake things up!
Kudos LRB readers, I know and trust that you can take your love life bull by the horn!
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