Arguments and fights are part and parcel of every relationship. But if you think the frequency of fights has increased between you and your partner, here are some ten tips to consider.
1.BECOME CONSCIOUS OF THE MOMENT.
Arguments are futile, because in the end, when all is said and done, no one wins. A simple way to stop unnecessary arguments is to become aware of what you are doing. As soon as an argument begins, try to reduce the momentum of the argument by focusing your attention on your breathing or your heart beats. Once you do this, you will automatically become conscious of the fact that you are drifting into a senseless argument. And once you realize this, you can always try to end the argument by reminding your partner of same.
By becoming conscious during a fight/argument you can easily stop these fights from gaining momentum.
2.DON’T TALK WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD.
Remind your boyfriend or girlfriend in advance that you will not talk with him or her when you are in a bad mood. Tell him/her you are doing this in order to reduce the amount of useless arguments that erupt between you two. Also tell your partner not to talk with you when he/she is in a bad mood.
3.LISTEN CONSCIOUSLY .
When in an argument, focus on listening to what your partner has to say, instead of thinking of what next to say . While listening, try to look at the story from the partner’s point of view. This will help you develop a new perspective on the situation.”Be quick to listen and slow to speak!”.
4.STEP OUT OF THE ROOM.
If you cannot take anymore listening, and you are extremely angry, just leave the room for a few minutes. Go outside in the open or go into a room and sit in silence for five to ten minutes. Focus on your breathing and let your anger fade away. Once your anger fades away, you will be in a better position to understand the situation and put forth your side of the story in a relaxed manner.
5.HOLD HIS OR HER HAND.
In the spur of the moment arguments reach heightened intensity just like fire. By holding your partner’s hand, you are doing something unexpected which will cut off his/her line of negative thoughts and bring in a sense of relaxation. Once your partner stops (even for a few seconds) tell him/her that you can argue some other time and that right now you need to go for a walk together. Walk together in silence holding hands and you will be amazed how the negative energy fades away.
6.STOP THE BLAME GAME.
Blame games serve no purpose as there is no fun in crying over a spilt milk. What has happened has happened. Blaming someone for it is not going to solve anything. Just accept what has happened and let the moment pass. You can sit and talk about it when both of you are in the right mood.”Dont dwell on the past, embrace the future!”.
7.LEARN THE ART OF ACCEPTANCE.
It is important to learn the art of acceptance. In a relationship, you need to accept the shortcomings/flaws in your partner . Look at them as flaws in your own self. Once you accept these flaws, you will be amazed how soon they fade away. “No one is perfect!”
Meditation can help you get in touch with your inner self, which in turn will help you become automatically conscious when a fight starts. Meditation also helps you calm down and discard past resentments against your partner. Just sit in silence for five to ten minutes and focus your attention on your breathing or your heart beats or even your sense of hearing. Just listen to the sounds as they happen. The idea is to remove focus from your negative/angry thoughts and let them fade away. You can meditate any time of the day, even when you are standing. Do this whenever you feel tense or angry.
Hmmmm…. Quite some few Interesting practical tips on how you can avoid/stop fighting with your partner! Send your comments if you think or have an experience of other ways to quit fighting with our dearies!
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