In recent times, I have read lot and lots of book,listen and watch enough movies and interviews of great people from all walks of life,talk and educate young couples or soon to be married, and even the very young teenagers about marriage and how to build a Godly and happy home. But truth be told I am stagger at the rate at which divorce cases or the rate at which broken homes and marriages are increasing daily, almost as if a lot of people just go into marriages thinking and believing the can make it work, without willing to put in effort, and once a little hurdle comes their way they pack-up and run-out.Leaving behind empty promises made before God and in the presence of man.
Here are some of the reasons why marriages struggles:
1. Infedility: Extra-marital affairs I must say, Is the most salient reasons for the breakdown of marriages,It is very important to know your partner very well during courtship understand who the are,What the can and can’t do So as to make your decision, because i believe most infedility happens during courtship and continue even after marriage.
2. Deficiency in communication: communication is crucial in every relationships,and it is an effective and efficient way to express ones feeling in marriage, When there is lack of communication there is no understanding. This can lead to resentment and frustration affecting every aspect of your marriages, Effective communication start from you communicating the right way, you will like you partner to communicate back to you. it’s also taking out time to listen. Good communication is the foundation of every strong marriage.
3. Financial incompatibility: Money can make or break any relationship,have you ever wonder why people act and behave differently when money is involve ? The goal is to find someone that you are compatible with physically,spiritually and financially. Because everyone has different spending saving and investing habit. Find someone that suite you to avoid issues in future, Because financial problem is one of the foremost reason people divorce everywhere in the world .
4. Absence of love and intimacy: Not feeling connected and attracted to your partner anymore over time can lead to divorce, lack of physical and emotional intimacy will break any marriage over time. The truth is, when you constantly treat your spouse with cold shoulder or with lack of kindness and love this attitude over time will destroy your marriage. And ignoring your spouse sexual needs will overtime push them into indulging in extra marital affairs which will lead to broken marriage in the long run.
5. Emotional and physical abuse: Addressing issues in your relationship early on will prevent you from making mistakes in marriage. Emotional physical and mental abuse are the major types of abuse people go through in marriages. If you are in a relationship with an abuser it’s adviceable you quit the relationship before it lead to marriage. Keep off abusive people, because the truth is the hardly ever change if you want to enjoy a happy home and stay out of the court rooms .
6. Not being prepare for marriage : We understand that it takes alot to make a marriage work,Divorce rate are higher among couples in their 20s. Rushing into marriage without preparation is the cause of this. A number of couples have blame not bring prepare for marriage as a reason for divorce. Statistics shows that half the divorce occur in the first 10 years of marriage. Before deciding to walk down the aisle with anyone, Ask yourself ” am I willing to selflessly put in effort ,time, patience,unconditional love sacrifice etc to make it work?And if your answer is no,or you have any doubt, please stay off marriage untill you are sure you can give all and everything you have for it.
It is important to practice kindness ,love and patience to preserve your marriage, because the truth is marriage is not easy, even people with good intention are some time unable to overcome challenges and end up in court room for divorce. Don’t wait untill things are beyond fixing. Be intentional in trying to make your marriage work.