It’s not easy to overcome shyness but, yes, it is possible if you seriously commit yourself to the goal of change. Shyness is one of those personality traits psychologists believe is largely biologically based, meaning that you’re born with it or with a predisposition to it. But fear not: Even biology can’t prevent you from learning new ways to approach others.
Gain insight into your shy behavior. If you are truly committed to un-shying yourself, take inventory of all your shy behaviors. Make a list of a few situations that would make you feel most shy. Next, ask yourself what these situations have in common?
Socialize with outgoing friends and take notes like a secretary. One of the best ways to learn how to do something new is to mimic the actions of someone who excels at the desired behavior.
Cultivate a new identity as an outgoing person using self-monitoring and praise. Monitor the language you use when you talk about yourself. Catch yourself saying, “I’m really shy,” and change it to, “I used to be really shy.”